How to Think Big? 2
Build Confidence and Destroy Fear
Yes, fear is real and we must recognize it exists before we can conquer it. Most fear today is psychological. Worry, tension, embarrassment, panic – all from mismanaged. Fear is success enemy number one. Fear stop people from capitalizing an opportunity, it wears down physical vitality, it make people sick, shorten life, closes your mouth when you want to speak.
Two step procedure to cure fear and win confidence:
1. Isolate your fear. Pin it down. Determine exactly what you are afraid of.
2. Then take action. There is some kind of action for any kind of fear.
Two Ways to put people in proper perspective:
1. The other fellow is important, you are important too. “We’re just two important people sitting down to discuss something of mutual interest and benefit.
2. Develop an understanding attitude.
Remember two short sentences when someone declares war on you. “Underneath he’s probably a very nice guy. Most folks are.” There is within us a desire to be right, think right and act right. When we go against that desire, we put a cancer in our conscience. This cancer grows and grows by eating away at our confidence. Avoid asking yourself “Will I get caught? Will they find out? Will I get away with it?” People who are shy in introducing themselves can replace this timidity with confidence just by taking three simple actions simultaneously. First: reach for other person’s hand and clasp it warmly, Second: look directly at the other person, Third: say I’m very glad to know you. This three will banish shyness. Confidence action produces confident thinking.
Five Confidence Building Exercise.
1. Be a front seater. Most folks scramble to sit in the back rows so they won’t be “too conspicuous” or lack confidence.
2. Practice making eye contact. Instinctively, you ask yourself questions about fellow who doesn’t look you in the eye. “What’s he trying to hide?, What’s he afraid of?, Is he trying to put something over on me?, Is he holding something back?”, or it may say “I feel weak besides you. I feel inferior to you, I’m afraid of you” or I feel guilty, I’ve done something or I’ve thought something that I don’t want you to know.” Make your eyes work for you. Aim them right at others eyes. It not only gives you confidence, it wins you confidence, too.
3. Walk 25% faster. Throw your shoulders back, lift up your head, move ahead just a little faster, and feel self-confidence grow.
4. Practice Speaking-up. Those who fail to participate thinks to himself: My opinion is probably worthless, If I say something, I’ll probably look foolish, I’ll just say nothing, besides, the others probably know more than I. I don’t want the others to know how ignorant I am. Each time we fail to speak – we take one more dose of confidence poison; we become less and less confidence of ourselves.
On the positive side: The more you speak up, the more you add to your confidence and the easier it to speak up the next time. Speak-up. It’s a confidence building vitamin. Make it a rule to speak up at every open meeting you attend, Speak-up and say something voluntarily at every business conference, committee meeting, community forum you attend. Make no exception. Comment, make a suggestion, ask a question and don’t be the last to speak. Try to be the ice breaker and never worry about looking foolish. You won’t.
5. Smile Big. Try to feel defeated and smile big at the same time. You can’t. A big smile gives you confidence. A big smile beats fear, rolls away worry, defeat despondency. Harness the power of smiling.
How to Think Big
Where success is concerned, People are not measured in inches or pounds or collage degrees or family background, they are measured by the size of their thinking. How big we think determines the size of our accomplishment.
Exercises to help measure our true size
1. Determine your five chief assets. Invite some objective friend to help, possibly your wife, your superior, a professor, some intelligent person who will give you an honest opinion. (Example: Assets frequently listed are, education, experience, technical skills, appearance, well adjusted home-life, attitudes, personality, and initiative.)
2. Next, under each asset, write the names of three persons you know who have achieved large success but who do not have this asset to as great a degree as you.
When you’ve completed this exercise. You will find you outrank many successful people on at least one asset, and the conclusion you can honestly reach: You’re bigger than you think. – So fit your thinking to your true size. Think as big as you really are and never, never, never sell yourself short.
The important measure of a person’s vocabulary is not the size or the number of words he uses. Rather, the thing that counts, the only thing that counts about one’s vocabulary is the effect his words and phrases have on his own and others thinking.
Here is something very basic:
“We do not think in words and phrases, we think only in pictures and or images. Words are the raw materials of thought. Look at this way, when you speak or write, you are in a sense, a projector showing movies in the mind of others. And the pictures you create determine how you and others react.
Suppose you say: “I’m sorry to report we’ve failed” What do these people see? They are defeat and all the disappointment and grief the word failed conveys.
Instead: “Here’s a new approach that I think will work” They would feel encouraged, ready to try again.
Suppose: “We face a problem” created a picture in the minds of others of something difficult. unpleasant to solve.
Instead: “We face a challenge” you create a mind picture of fun, something pleasant to do.
The point is: Big thinkers are specialists in creating positive, forward looking, and optimistic pictures in their own minds and in the mind of others. To think big, we must use words and phrases that produce big, positive mental images.
Four ways to develop the big thinker’s vocabulary
1. Use big, positive, cheerful words and phrases do describe how you feel. When someone ask you “How do you feel today?”, respond with a “Just wonderful thanks, and you?” or “Great” or “Fine” say you feel wonderful at every possible opportunity and you will begin to feel wonderful- and bigger too. Become known as a person who always feels great. It wins friends.
2. Use bright, cheerful, favorable words and phrases to describe other people. Make it a rule to have a big, positive word for all your friends and associates.
3. Use positive language to encourage others. Compliment people personally at every opportunity. People on their appearance, their work, their achievements, their family.
4. Use positive words to outline plans to others.
“Look at things not as they are, but as they can be. Visualization adds value to everything. A big thinker always visualizes what can be done in the future. He is not stuck with the present.”
Here is how you can develop your power to see what can be, not just what is, we call these “Practice adding value exercise:”
1. Practice adding value to things. Ask yourself, “What can I do to ‘add value’ to this room or this house or this business?” Look for ideas to make things worth more and has value in proportion to the ideas for using it.
2. Practice adding value to people. Ask “What can I do to add value to my subordinates?”
“What can I do to help them to become more effective?”, Remember, to bring out the best in a person, you must first visualize his best.
3. Practice adding value to yourself. Conduct a daily interview with yourself. Ask “what can I do to make myself more valuable today?”, Visualize yourself not as you are but as you can be.